a daunting task

Since I slept in then slept all afternoon, I'm guessing I'll be up for hours... I might as well write.

This month I've been teaching six and seven year old girls about making wise decisions. Putting aside the obvious irony that I of all people would be teaching others how to make good choices, it's been a great experience. I'll probably have the ridiculous song in my head for roughly the next six months, but I bet I'll pause for at least a moment the next time I'm about to do something really stupid.

I've enjoyed getting to know my girls, but from an adult perspective, I've enjoyed hearing them articulate their knowledge of the Bible. They're so young (as I was reminded when one of them asked tonight why they don't get Goldfish in first grade... they always got them before), but because of the way they've been raised, they know their stuff. I sometimes think I could just sit back and let them teach...

I often question how my children (if I ever had any) would fare in a room of children at Watermark. What kind of parent would I be? What would my children value? How much of my struggles would they pick up, either through nature or nurture? How much would I reflect Christ in my choices and behavior towards them and others? How would I equip them to love Christ even when it feels hard, something I struggle with immensely? When I think of it that way, being a parent sounds like such a daunting task.

This weekend I met my friend Angie's twin babies, Isaac and Lilly. They were adorable (aren't all babies?), but I was reminded how glad I am that they are not mine. I do still want children one day, though it appears more and more likely that particular dream may not come true, but at least for now, I feel a sense of relief. A reminder that before I got caught up in competing with the people around me, I knew I wasn't ready to take that step.

I'm finally fading, so hopefully I can now fall asleep. I need to be alert and ready for the 18 kids that I get to love on and impact right now... only a slightly less daunting proposition.